Today I drive down to Bridge of the Gods to drop off Boyfriend for his 500 mile Pacific Crest Trail hike.
Today is the day that I get to cry and worry only once I am in the car. Today is the day that I give him every piece of positivity and encouragement that I have.
I’m thinking a lot of an adventure I went on in 2012 and how that was what I needed. The morning that my parents and I hopped in the car, drove to the airport and said goodbye for two years. The day that I was nearly pooping my pants with fear and they hugged me and told me they loved me and sent me in my way.
I think a lot about how that day would have been worse if they’d cried. I know they were scared and that they probably worried. I know my mom spent the car ride home crying. I know that they were sending their only kid into the unknown and that must have been paralyzing. But I remember that they didn’t cry. Because if they had I’m not sure I could have gone through security and onto the great adventure. They were strong for me so I didn’t have to be.
Today that’s my job. I’m terrified that Boyfriend will be eaten by a bear or captured by squirrels, that he’ll run out of food or bleed through his shoes. But today all of that gets swept into the corners of my heart so I can hug him and tell him I love him and send him on his way.
And then I’ll go cry my face off in the car. Because that’s love.