A ‘Kini Body

This summer I bought a bikini. It happened.

To christen this hallowed occasion, I’d like to share my thoughts from the dressing room as I put on the first bikini I’d worn since age five*:

Things that are wrong with my body:

Belly Fat
Thunder Thighs
Stretch Marks
Thin Hair
Upper Arm Jiggle
Uneven Skin Tone
Ever Reappearing Lady Beard
Right Eyebrow Higher than Left
Gigantic Feet
Left Calve Larger than Right
Hairy Arms
Hooky-Downy Nose
Surgery Scars on Stomach

Wait wait wait wait. Wait. Just wait…Calm down…

Things That Are Perfect About My Body:

It’s Mine
It’s Beautiful
Suck It, World!

*Actually a solid story: apparently my parents and grandmother and I were camping and I was throwing an epic bitch-fit about swimming. I didn’t have a swimsuit so my parents calmly tried to explain, to no avail, that I couldn’t go swimming this time. My grandmother, having raised five boys, rode out the yelling while calmly crocheting a tiny bikini which she then dressed me in and watched me swim. Casual.


2 thoughts on “A ‘Kini Body

  1. It’s helpful to remember that NO body is perfect. The ones you see in magazines are airbrushed and photoshopped. We are so hard on ourselves. Have fun and don’t forget the sunscreen, especially on the parts that haven’t seen the sun in a while.🌞

    Liked by 2 people

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