5 Reasons I Want to Break Up with the Subway

1. He is always late, or running on his own made-up schedule

I get there ten minutes early everyday just in case he’s early and somehow I still miss him and have to wait another 20 minutes, only to find out he’s not coming at all and I’ll have to hang out with his local friend who walks slow and needs to stop every 8 blocks.

2. He never tells me what’s actually wrong

It’s always “there has been an incident at 14th street” with this one. Just tell me what I said that upset you, no need to leave cryptic messages and then sit for way too long pouting at 96th St.

3. He robs me blind every month

This jerk takes money from me every month, promises to put it into making our life together better and then blows it on whatever he wants. There’s no way I’m giving him that much money and he can’t afford new trains…he’s taking my money to the tracks I know it…


4. There are times when I would rather walk five miles than see him

Too often I’d rather go way out of my way than have to deal with his malarky. Sometimes I just don’t go out because it would take too much out of me to see him again.

5. He thinks he’s so underground

Rats and inexplicable dampness don’t make you cool, treating others with respect makes you cool. That was of course a reference to this video because I’m a nerd.

5 Reasons I Want to Break Up with the Subway



8 thoughts on “5 Reasons I Want to Break Up with the Subway

  1. Did you know that there are bigger cities with little to no subway and smaller cities with a very good subway system ? It is a matter of sizing. NYC has developed faster than its subway network. 8 million people and 22 lines. I know a city that has 1/4 of NYC population and a subway network more than half the number of lines in NYC. According to this, NYC should have 40-50 subway lines.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Even though it took me forever to respond to your comment, I have been thinking about this and talking with friends about it so much! Thank you for the info, I’m usually just annoying and angry about it but actually hadn’t thought a lot about why. The MTA is always chalking delays up to the high population of the city, but we haven’t had new trains in a very long time. Thank you for this!


  2. “Sometimes I just don’t go out because it would take too much out of me to see him again.”

    I know this problem all too well. San Diego doesn’t have a subway system, but we do have the trolley–and not like the cute trolley cars going through the streets people like to think about; it’s basically the subway, but above ground. I’m pretty sure Trolley and Subway are a-hole cousins.

    Liked by 2 people

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