Dos and Don’ts of Flying

Do Know the Rules and Regs

I know it’s a lot, but TSA has a website and every airport has information centers you can call. You need to know if your bag will fit. You need to be prepared for security. Do your homework.*

Don’t take over the armrest

If the thing you are doing requires you to enter my personal space, ask yourself how necessary it is. If it is extremely necessary, make it happen fast and apologize for elbowing me in the ribs (lookin at you lady-from-yesterday’s-flight).

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Do pack snacks. 

One time I bought an orange juice at an airport Starbucks and it was $8.

Eight. What.

Airports are like theme parks except airports allow you to bring food in so, get you some snacks before you get to the airport and save a dime. Or eight dollars.

Eight!

Don’t shame a parent because their child is crying. 

I don’t like screaming children, you don’t like screaming children, their parents don’t like it either. But there is nothing they can do so, buck up buttercup, life is hard and the babies feel it all.

Do pack water. 

An empty water bottle is allowed through TSA and can be easily filled at a water fountain past security. Planes are dry and flying does weird stuff to your body so hydrate.

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Don’t play your sh*t out loud

This is a rule for life I think. If you are in a public space and you’re watching videos or listening to music, use headphones. Because, are you kidding me, don’t be a d*ckhead.

Best of luck

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*If you haven’t already researched it, look up ID requirements for 2018 flights. The laws are changing and certain state licenses won’t be accepted.

Dos and Don'ts of Flying (1)

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3 thoughts on “Dos and Don’ts of Flying

  1. That last one should definitely be a Life Rule. Also, allow me to share this story with you!

    One of the best things I’ve seen (I used to ride public transit daily to get to work), was one morning–EARLY morning, like not-even-daylight-out-yet morning–this kid came on the trolley/subway. He was maybe 17 or 18, and he was listening to his music on his phone’s speaker. It was rap (it’s always rap for some reason; no one ever plays the Rolling Stones or Beyoncé or anything I would want to hear), it was pretty loud, and it happened to have a lot of swearing.

    I have my headphones to drown that crap out, but everyone else was obviously annoyed, glaring at him, etc. I could see one woman in particular, about my age, maybe a little older (30-35) was getting really agitated and leaning over to make comments to her boyfriend(?) and pointing at this kid. Finally, after about twenty-five minutes, she reaches in her bag, pulls out a set of ear buds, walks up and THROWS THEM AT THIS KID (at which point I pause my music to spectate, because this is much more interesting than Icona Pop), and says, “No one wants to hear your shitty fucking music.”

    THE LOOK ON THIS KID’S FACE WAS PRICELESS. He was like, indignant, but also terrified. Like, you could tell he WANTED to say something derogatory, but his mom taught him to respect his elders and also he thought maybe this woman would beat his ass in public. So, he just was like, “I don’t have headphones.”

    “Well now you do, so fucking use them!”

    Have you ever wanted to applaud a total stranger? Because I wanted to applaud a total stranger. It was one of those moments that if you read one of your friends’ Facebook posts about, “This is what I did today,” you’d say they were full of crap BUT IT WAS REAL AND MAGICAL AND I HOPE THAT WOMAN IS WELL BECAUSE SHE’S DOING THE LORD’S WORK.

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  2. bullshit i could parent the fuck outta screaming child better then the parents thus ending the screaming part, dont tell me there is nothing to be done with a screaming baby, baby’s are like gods you dont have to respect but damn well sure better appease you just need to figure out what the little demon is trying to say!

    second you can beat the whole system by doing this awesome thing called a road trip

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  3. josypheen says:

    It’s part of your first point… but…

    I never understand those people that have their liquids taken away at security. You haven’t been able to carry liquids onto a flight for yeeeeears! Everyone knows the machines can see into your bag if you leave your mascara/deodorant/sun-cream in there. Just take them out and speed up the queue for everyone else!!

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