Is that person smiling at me?

Am I making too much eye contact? Look somewhere else. Oh no does it look like I’m distracted? Look them right in the eye. Too intense, nod. Smile. Too much, smile less.

You’re damn right, excuse you.

Be cool, be cool, be cool, be cool for once in your life.

Why is everyone walking so slowly?!

I’m a-a diva. I’m a-I’m a-a diva. Eh. Eh.

Please don’t talk to me.

Ok, grande almond milk latte with an extra shot, grande almond milk latte with an extra shot.

Did I say almond milk? Sh*t I don’t remember…too late now, you made you’re own bed here.

Shhhhhhhhhh.

Don’t trip, don’t trip, don’t trip.

It’s fine, no one saw that. Probably.

Does it smell like food in here?

Why??

You are a strong independent woman. You are tough and smart and you can definitely order your food/call that person on the phone/talk to a stranger.

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