Step 1 – Meet old friend at baggage claim and awkwardly skip-run into each other’s arms.
Step 2 – Use two different phones and absolutely no knowledge of Dallas to get lost for hours, venturing onto toll roads, back roads and m****rf*****g commerce way, until finally finding and touring Dealy Plaza.
Step 4 – Enjoy continental breakfast, steal everything they won’t charge you for from the room.
Step 5 – Go to friend’s house in Wichita Falls, see improve show, get drunk and talk about politics after being called a yankee and responding “my state wasn’t involved in that war…”
Step 6 – Go to friends hometown, meet her hilarious friends, go to lake to cool off and drink all the drinks.
Step 8 – Go kayaking hungover. For five hours!
Step 9 – Drive a car for the first time in two years but just briefly. Feel 15 again and decide driving is still not for you.
Step 10 – Go back to Wichita Falls, take a Benadryl because you are insanely allergic to Texas and konk out for the whole ride.
Step 11 – Go hiking in Oklahoma on this trail, oh wait is that a snake, never mind, this trail nope that’s a snake, no, this trail, no snakes, awesome, wait where’s the trail?
Step 13 – Say goodbye, promise to come back soon, know you will.